Reality.

The decision maker resolves this by:

Declaration: 'Three'

Coercion: 'It's Three or you're fired.'

Intuition: 'I'll tell you when I think you need to know.'

Exclusion: 'It's not Four.'

Whim: 'It's Three today.'

Submission: 'I checked with the boss and she says Three'.

Delegation: 'HR told me Three.'

Committee: 'The ayes have it - Three.'

Bias: 'I hate Four. It's Three.'

Fear: 'Four is up to something. So Three.'

Psychoanalysis: 'You say Four but Your Myers-Briggs Type says you really think Three so I'm going to say Three.'

Avoidance: 'Let's have an off site team building day to create cross-functional capacity in conversations about numeracy.'

Spite: 'As you counted Three without running it by me first you've left me with no choice other than to put you on a warning'

Omission:  'You choose and I'll see what happens next.'

Hacked.

Some companies run 'bug bounty' programs that reward hackers for disclosing vulnerabilities they find in the organisation's computer code.

Imagine that. Opening up your internal software to a bunch of strangers and inviting them to try and break it.

Every organisation has a similar service available to it. For Free. People who volunteer their time to point out errors in its entire operating system.

They're called 'Complainants'.

Agree.

There's banging on the front door of your house where your children are asleep.

'The smoke billowing from your roof is soiling the clothes on my line!' a voice yells.

'Put it in writing,' you yell back. 'And send it to my landlord. She'll let the owner know.'

'No!'

'Well, contact the fire brigade!'

'No!'

You think.

'Would you agree to me passing on your complaint to the fire brigade?' you shout back.

'No. Just stop smoking out my clothes!'

'Would you be happy if I dry cleaned your clothes for you?' you yell.

A van draws up alongside while you're at the traffic lights. The passenger rolls down his window and points at the back of your car.

'Is that a formal or informal gesture about my car?' you say.

The van pulls away as the lights turn green.

'Anonymous!' you mutter under your breath, before accelerating away in a belch of oil smoke and sparks from your dragging muffler.

You catch up to the van at the next set of lights. The passenger repeats the gesture with more animation.

'Vexatious complainant!' you sneer as you raise your middle finger then the volume of the radio.

Organisations pay for opinions - usually called 'feedback' - of customers, clients, employees and random strangers about their Widget.

They hire different people to deter, defend, deflect, delegate, mediate - opinions that are called 'complaints'.

A complaint is information about your Widget from someone who cares enough about their Widget (which may be the same as yours) to give it.

It's your decision - not theirs - serving your Widget - not theirs - as to what you do about it.

Advocate.

"The real hell of life is everyone has his reasons."

 - Jean Renoir

The Premier of Western Australia Mr Colin Barnett has not supported a push to remove one of his party members who continues to criticise his government, including calling for Mr Barnett to resign.

Another example of a leader who is on top of his game.

Allowing a critic to remain within the ranks is the sign of a confident leader. And not because of her ego blinding her to the criticism.

The good leader knows that there is wisdom in testing arguments and positions inside the tent before they are released into the wild.

As Dr Tim McDonald says: 'Private honesty. Public loyalty.' 

Mr Barnett's accommodation of a dissenting view is also his compliment to the community he serves. He assumes of us what he is demonstrating himself: the maturity to accept that difference is not to be feared.

Mr Barnett is not afraid that the voting public may assume that his party's internal dissent calls into question the ability of his government to run our hospitals and schools and keep our streets safe.

This is what leaders do. They create a space that invites us in to see the version of ourselves that we want to become. 'See?' Mr Barnett says to us. 'I can run an entire State amidst criticism from one of my own. I'm not fleeing. I'm not fighting. I'm smiling. Try it in your own family, workplace, community.'

Very, very few people or organisations can do this. Basically, we don't know how. We don't have the skills. We haven't practised accommodating dissonance. We actively discourage dissent - often quashing it under cover of a breach of 'values' or 'code of conduct'. We drive the our critics to the fringes - until they have to scream so loudly that any merit in their shouted message is dismissed with labels such as 'vexatious'. 

If you want to test the maturity and confidence of an organisation or person - say 'complaint'.

Mature people and organisations will seek out dissenters to join their decision making process to kick the tyres.

If they can't find such a critic, they will appoint one. The 'devil's advocate' was someone appointed by the Catholic Church to argue against the canonisation of a person into sainthood.

The mature organisation knows that a dissenter is one of the ways to avoid the trap of groupthink.

The critic - whether internal or external - demands that we explain ourselves - rather than just declare, or even be satisfied by giving reasons for a decision.

A recent study showed that people who were asked to give reasons for an opinion remained convinced of its rightness. While other people who were asked to give a step by step explanation of how they arrived at their opinion were more likely to recognise an error in their thinking and start reviewing their assumptions.

(Herein lies the value of the Five Steps to a Good Decision.)

Therein also lies both the solution and the problem.

Better to cling on to the flawed certainty of our understanding of the world than to expose ourselves to the panic of finding out that we've been wrong.

It's a rare person who can accommodate the distraction in time and energy of a critic.

Which is why we need leaders like Mr Barnett who have the confidence to show us that whether we label it criticism, dissent, disloyalty, or even treason, it's just information.

Another opportunity for us to measure how we're going with our Widget.

Good leaders are rare.

Resolved.

It's rare to hear someone reflect on a conflict in a former workplace and say:

'My life is worse because of it.'

Many people believe that the goal of conflict management is to make everybody happy.

Yet when you ask those people 'What are the chances of that happening?', they shake their heads and say 'It's almost impossible.'

We need to have some reference point as to when a conflict is resolved.

Universal happiness - complainant, respondent, boss, customer, widget - is not a realistic one.

Resolving conflict so that people can get back to the widget has benefits beyond the widget.

It lets them think 'Well, whether I like it or not, it has been resolved and I now need to make choices based upon that.'

It's rare in life to have an umpire who resolves something for us and says 'Here's what's going to happen.'

That's what a good boss does when she resolves a conflict.

We may not like it. We may not agree with it. It may not be what we wanted. Yet it provides a reference point for our decisions about our life and our happiness. We regain control in an environment where we may have felt as though we'd lost it. 

What might seem like a loss in the world of my cubicle, can be a win for personal growth, creativity, and realisations about where I want to be in the world of my life.

Ding-a-Ling.

'It has so much to do with hiring. You see so many big companies that don't understand why they aren't the big disruptive company anymore. Well, that's because you hired these guys that you could work with, and who have the same disabilities as you, and they hired more people that they could boss around with the same disabilities. And you wonder why you've got a bunch of ding-a-lings running around trying to boss everyone around. Well that's who you hired. That's who the company is.'

- Merlin Mann

Recruit hard, manage easy - works both ways.

We don't understand what happened to our enthusiasm. We fall asleep replaying scenes from our day and see ourselves behaving like a ding-a-ling.

Well, that's because we applied for and accepted a job where we're bossed around by a ding-a-ling, whose boss is a ding-a-ling (must be to keep paying a ding-a-ling).

That's who the organisation is.

That's who we are.

Ring it!

Ca-ching! Pay day!

Participants in the arduous training to qualify as United States Navy SEALS signal their decision to quit by ringing a brass bell.

Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.

'Hey everybody! I'm humiliated and embarrassed to announce I've decided that I don't need to spend the best years of my life being cold, tired, wet, endangered, and in physical and mental pain as I follow orders so that I can kill strangers in defence of my country!'

Ring it!

Whatever the judgement of others - at least have the courage to declare we're playing by someone else's rules. Or not.

Grab that bell and ring it.

I'm here because I need the money.

I'm here because I'm afraid of the alternative.

I'm here because I don't think I'm good enough to be accepted anywhere else.

Liberation into anxious freedom begins with seeing, pointing and naming. Out loud.

Especially the hard and shameful stuff.

Perhaps start with 'Here is the cage I've locked myself into and here is the key that I won't use because I know my cage and I'm afraid of what's outside it.'

Ring it!

Murmuring.

St Benedict stated in his Rule for monks that there is no greater evil in a community than 'murmuring'. That sixth century behaviour translates as gossiping or underhanded and hidden criticism of someone in an organisation - usually in authority.

The character of Don Draper has very little in common with the monastic life. However, he quickly and effectively dealt with murmuring in Season 7 of Mad Men. 

He receives a letter purporting to terminate his partnership in the firm. After a moment of reflection (Step 1 - Step Back), he summonses all the decision makers who may have conspired against him out of their offices and into the open plan - where they could each see and be seen by Don, each other, and the other non-decision making staff.

Don: 'Hey! Get out here!' I just got a breach letter with your name on the bottom.'

Roger: 'What?'

Don: 'Joan! Get out here! Joan! Could you get Cooper out here?

Joan: 'What's going on?'

Don: 'Find Pete. No-one knows about this?'

Joan: 'I saw it.'

Don: 'Then why did you say 'What's going on?''

Cooper: 'I want you to calm down. I just called Jim, we're going to get the bottom of this.'

Pete: 'Is there a meeting?'

Don: 'Have you seen this?'

Pete: 'This is outrageous! You know we're going to be at Burger Chef on Monday!'

Roger: 'I vote against this. Right now.'

Jim: 'It's not subject to a vote. The contract is very clear.'

Don: 'You want to play parliamentary procedure? Let's play. Everyone who wants to get rid of me - raise your hand.'

Jim: 'Fine. I have Ted's proxy.'

Cooper: 'You had no right to put my name on that!'

Don: 'Anyone else?... All opposed?...Motion denied!'

Pete: 'That's a very sensitive piece of horse flesh. He shouldn't be rattled!' 

- Mad Men Season 7 'Waterloo'.

Good decision making draws the decision maker out of his office into a neutral space of inquiry and invites those who may be affected by it to contribute in full view of each other.

Somewhere.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don’t much care where--" said Alice.
"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"--so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

- Lewis Carroll - 'Alice in Wonderland'

A good decision is one that advances me towards where I want to be.

Do I know where I want to be:

1. In one second (while you're yelling at me)?
2. In ten minutes (after you've stormed out)?
3. In six hours (after I've read your complaint)?
4. Next week (after my boss has read your complaint)?
5. In six months (when my performance review is due)?
6. In a year (when my daughter asks 'What do you do at work, Daddy?')
7. In thirty years (when I'm dying)?
8. In 200 years (when my great-great-great-great gand-daughter is researching the Family Tree)?

My boss can answer the first five.

(A good boss cares about six, seven and eight because she cares about one to five.)

Emotion may excuse the answers to one and eight.

Good decision making will answer the rest.

Communication.

We grow up to the sound of cheers and boos.

Parents affirm our good behaviour and correct the bad.

Teachers grade our work.

Coaches urge us on and post our scores.

Peers select and reject us.

Employers do the same.

Right up until we give payroll our bank details and pull our chair into our desk and log on.

Then the stands fall silent.

'There's a lack of communication here,' we say.

'I don't get any feedback.'

'Not so much as a 'Thank You'.'

(As we transfer money from our savings account to our mortgage account.)

It's time to grow up.

When the Boss says nothing she's saying:

'I trust you to do the work.'

On pay day she's saying:

'Thank you.'

Value.

[Inspired by Hugh McCleod's 'Value Curve'.]

Confidence.

'Once you surrender the idea of intrinsic, objective value, you start asking the question “if the value isn’t in there, where does it come from?” It’s obviously from the transaction: it’s the product of the quality of a relationship between me, the observer, and something else. So how is that relationship stimulated, enriched, given value? By creating an atmosphere of confidence where I am ready to engage with and perhaps surrender to the world it suggests.'

- Brian Eno

The information thuds onto our desk.

It lies there. Inanimate. Markings on paper. Pixels on glass.

We breathe in - and exhale our spirit into it.

We give it life.

We name it:

Complaint. Criticism. Appeal. Escalation. Grievance. Demand. 

Or we name it:

Feedback. Evaluation. Comment. Test. Observation. Assessment. Question. Gift.

The actions that we take in response to the information and its relationship to our Widget are what gives it value. We need to engage with it with the eagerness and curiosity that serve our Widget - not our ego.

We need to be brave enough to surrender our understanding of the world for a new one.

If we are all these things - then we invite more thuds upon our desks.

Competing.

'In review tribunal proceedings there is no necessary conflict between the interests of the applicant and of the government agency. Tribunals and other administrative decision making processes are not intended to identify the winner from two competing parties. The public interest `wins' just as much as the successful applicant because correct or preferable decision making contributes, through its normative effect, to correct and fair administration and to the jurisprudence and policy in the particular area.'

- Managing Justice: A Review of the Federal Civil Justice System.

The complaint arrives.

Step 1: Step Back and feel the offence, indignation, anger, fear, fatigue or betrayal well up inside you - then allow seconds, minutes, hours, days for it to ebb away. [I'm human.]

Step 2:What's my Widget and what does this complaint teach me about it? ['The first job of a leader is to define reality.']

Step 3: Do I seek other information to help me to learn about this complaint and my Widget?

Step 4: Is there anything clouding my vision about how this complaint serves my Widget? ['A leader serves.']

Step 5: Is there anyone who might be affected by a decision I may make?

Thank you complainant for testing my Widget. ['The last job of a leader is to say 'Thank you.'']

It's rare to find anyone with this wisdom.

Because Leaders are rare.

Our Justice System is precious.

Stream.

'Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.'

W.H. Murray

Start with the Widget. 

Save your energy arguing Widget Thinking is dehumanising for more creative battles ahead .

(Yawn.)

Remember - the Widget doesn't care.

Surrender to the cool, indifference of it. Accept its objectivity. A gift from your boss.

Make good decisions and feel Providence stir.

Promise.

'We've just listened to you explain how you went about doing what you did,' the Plaintiff's barrister asks the Respondent Promise Maker in cross-examination.

In courts and tribunals today, the same exchange will occur in some form.

'Yes,' the Promiser answers.

'Can I ask you to look at this document?'

'Yes.'

'Do you recognise it?'

'Yes. It's the Contract of Employment/Agreement/Thing I Promised To Do.'

'I'll take you through your Promise and make you say out loud the things you Promised to do'

'I'll then take you through the laws that you also Promised to follow by virtue of being a citizen' 

'I'll call five witnesses to produce forty two documents that will prove what you actually did.

'I'll then summarise in excruciating detail the gap between your Promise and what you did.'

Sit in the public gallery or read any transcript or reasons for judgment online, and this is the story arc that will almost always unfold. A journey from Expectation to Reality.

In the year that I asked more than 500 new employees at each induction session how many had read their employment agreement - the Promises made between them and their employer - only one said that they had. Among those new staff would have been new managers.

When organisational conflict arises we call HR to show them the pieces of Promises we've laid out and they show us the picture on the lid as we nod and smile and tell ourselves they match.

Good decision making is honouring our Promises.

Doubt.

'Perplext in faith, but pure in deeds,
         At last he beat his music out.
         There lives more faith in honest doubt,
Believe me, than in half the creeds.'

- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

'One of the reasons that a person is interested in what other people have to say is they know they don't know. Doubt is the place in me for you to affect me.'

- John Patrick Shanley

A Leader holds certainty with doubt.

A Leader is someone whom others choose to follow. People won't easily abandon their driftwood and tread water over to your raft if you're bailing water.

Doubt is never on the PowerPoint list of The 10 Qualities of a Leader.

Yet Leadership is inherently a transitional state between certainties. Leaders are on a journey from here towards their belief in Something Better Over Somewhere. Otherwise it's Management. (There's nothing wrong with that.)

People who complain about their Leaders almost always don't need Leadership. They need a Manager. Or a parent.

Almost by definition, if someone has certainty about where they're going and how they're going to get there, they are not a Leader. They're an airline pilot or a train driver. (There's nothing wrong with them either.)

Each of us hears the call towards Something Better Over Somewhere. Many of us respond, only to fall back as the tether between our ego and the opinions of the world tightens.

She breaks free and suffers the whiplash of our jealous displeasure.

She lays down a pathway of good decision making to a familiar beat of self-doubt that calls:

'Come! I am just like you.'

Joy.

It's half time during the NBA Playoffs. 10 million people are watching you at your desk making your Widget.

Hamish Hamilton is a Director whose work directing a U2 concert in Boston in 2001 was played live around the world during the 17 minute NBA half time. He was filmed at work and these images were included in the U2 Elevation DVD.

It doesn't take an expert to recognise that we are watching a pristine practical example of how good decision making, technical excellence, widget thinking, teamwork, structure and artistry come together to create excellence.

Listen to Hamish spontaneously and sincerely praise others' work as they do it. (He doesn't wait for the annual performance review to give them feedback.) Listen to him urge the team on with raw passion. (He doesn't need to act serious, aloof and boss-like when he's really feeling like shouting 'C'mon!') Watch him sway, gesture, dance and even sing in sync with the band, losing his body in his work while his brain stays focussed on the complex director's steering wheel. (He doesn't have to wait for the staff social event and a few drinks to be himself.) Listen to him drop expletives of delight at his team's work. (He's built enough trust with his co-workers not to need to worry about a bullying or harassment complaint.) Listen to him shout 'This is what we're good at!' because he knows the real meaning of team. (He doesn't have to take them on an artificial off-site, outsourced team building day.) Hear him say 'Thank you'. (He's not so self-absorbed in his creativity to not be aware that there are people at the end of his barked directions.) Watch how he harnesses the chaos while his Assistant Director Hayley literally calls a cadence beat of structure amidst the noise, lights and confusion. Watch his sheer joy as he executes responsibility for co-ordinating dozens of people and millions of dollars worth of equipment to produce a widget that will be expected to make tens of millions in sales.

Here is proof that we can make our serious widget and dance.

Hamish is a worker who loves his job and is exceptionally good at it. He has directed an Academy Awards ceremony among other high profile events including the London Olympic ceremonies.

Yet the most powerful evidence that he is truly in the élite is among the 42 comments below the Youtube video of his work. Amidst the expressions of appreciation and praise for his direction is the inevitable criticism posted in 2012 for the world to read:

'Sorry to say this, but Hamish Hamilton was the WORST ACADEMY AWARDS DIRECTOR EVER after last year!!! The execution was such a mess, especially with "And the winner is..." replacing "And the Oscar goes to", and although I taped it I won't even bother dubbing it to DVD. I guess Louis J. Horvitz and Glenn Weiss were too busy, which is why they tapped Hamish instead. Thankfully, Don Mischer will be directing and co-producing this year's Oscarcast.'

This is the comment that Hamish Hamilton posted in response:

'Glad you liked it johnnyafairbank ! Don is indeed directing and co-producing the show this year. He will do an amazing job - he is a fantastic director, a gentleman and crucially will also be a co-producer. It may be worth noting that the show was nominated for more Emmys than any Oscars ceremony ever so some people did like it. Enjoy this years show's - your obviously glad its not me ! I can send you a DVD of last years if you wish. Respect Hamish'

The level of self-confidence that produces this measured, dignified response - written with subtle humour yet without a hint of malice or attempt at public retaliation or humiliation of his critic - can only come from someone who knows in their soul that their work is very very good.

If Hamish Hamilton hasn't found who he is - then he's very close to it.

Hamish was not misplaced in believing in 2012 that his decision-making speaks for itself. A few weeks ago it was announced that he will direct the 2014 Oscars broadcast.

Appearances.

He ended his written complaint with 'Thank you for appearing to care'.

Brilliant.

He knew the difference between our Weekday and Weekend Widgets.

Foot.

'Tis all one as if they should make the standard for the measure we call a foot, a Chancellor’s foot; what an uncertain measure would this be? One Chancellor has a long foot, another a short foot, a third an indifferent foot: ‘tis the same thing in a Chancellor’s conscience.’

- John Selden

Many knowledge workers' decisions are adrift from their boss's widget.

It may have happened when their bosses changed. Or when there was a restructure. Or there may have never been a connection in the first place. They are products of poor management. Which - ironically - encourages their sense of expertise because they are usually an island of decisiveness amidst timidity.

They are almost always good people who are dedicated and work hard and long hours. They are often called 'indispensable'. 

They make decisions that they feel are morally right. This adds to their defensiveness and disproportionate reaction if challenged. Much like Selden's Chancellor's foot, their decisions are an extension of them, not transferrable and attached with an equal degree of organic stubbornness.

They are 'experts' whose advice is sought by others, thus further affirming their sense of expertise. They have become so simply by having exclusive access to information and authority and not because of any objective qualification or because the pillars of their decisions have held up a bridge. They're knowledge workers after all. 

They spend much time at meetings, conferences and other forums where experts gather and talk.

At staff gatherings, they're nursing the cupcake in the corner surveying the room with the weary look of the veteran, regularly glancing at their watch to ensure that they are back at their desk to answer the important phone calls and emails and not let anyone down.

They mark their own homework. Their decisions are rarely tested.

They design, manufacture and quality control their own widget.

Their only accountability?

Complaints.

Alibis.

'Explaining your situation is not going to be nearly as useful as trying to change it through action.'

- Merlin Mann

'I have nothing to say to you,' he said over the telephone.

He was a policeman so he knew his rights.

I had powers of investigation, but not over him.

I was on a deadline and he was a critical witness.

I thought about driving the three hours to try to speak with him in person only so I could say to my boss: 'I even drove for three hours to try to speak with him in person.' I would hang my head and he would put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

The witness's refusal left me with so many questions and I was running out of time. No less than the Chief of Air Force was waiting on my report. I had so much work to do. I had to write so many more words to hide the fact from the Air Vice Marshal that I had nothing to say. 'What a long report,' he would say. 'You obviously worked so hard.' I needed to do some hard work.

So I went out and bought a newspaper and a coffee and a croissant and did the crossword at a café overlooking the Yarra River. I finished the crossword and sat and watched people for about an hour. Okay it was two.

I was following a rowing crew stroke its way past when it came to me.

I returned to my desk and rang him back.

'I just wanted to let you know that all the other people I've spoken with have laid the blame with you. The evidence as it stands will lead me to make an adverse finding about you so I wanted to give you the opportunity to put your side of the story.'

He spoke for the next two hours.

Step 1: Step Back.

Step 5: Hearing.

Better.

'A critical task of leadership is to protect space for the expression of people's doubts'.

Peter Block

Gordon's weekly meeting rant was an extended version that day.

I sat on my side of the desk and he on his and I did not interrupt because I had nothing to say.

I had to be ready with something wise when he eventually finished. Supportive words that would reassure him and affirm his conviction that the staff member was wrong and he was right. Something boss-like.

I had nothing.

His cadence signalled that he was drawing to a close and that it would be my turn.

Nothing.

He'd stopped talking and was looking at me. My cue. Nope. I let the silence run on because I had no boss-worthy words.

'Do your job, boss,' his folded arms taunted.

I considered whether this was the moment when I did that brave thing that I'd read about and shrugged and said 'Gordon, I don't know.' I was sure I'd read that people admired that.

But I knew Gordon too well and he wouldn't. He was smart and practical. He loved solving problems and assumed the same in others. Yet he wasn't acting smart or practical or curious today. Maybe I could get away with a lazy answer, given that he was tossing me lazy questions. So unlike Gordon.

Wait.

Yes.

Something better than admitting I Don't Know.

'Gordon,' I began, forming words as I spoke them and not retrieved from the memory of a management book.

'This is not you. You're better than this.'

I named the thing that had been choking my words.

'You're better than this. I know because I know you. I know because you've told me so.'

Gordon laughed.

'Yes. Remember what you told me at your job interview?'

'No. What?'

'Your answer when I asked you how you would respond to difficult staff members like the one you've struck today?'

'No. I don't remember.'

'You told me that it was like playing the piano. You even mimed the actions. Sometimes you had one hand playing a melody at one end while the other one kept a rhythm going down the other. 'Just keep that rhythm going,' you said. 'It all combines to make the music.'' I want to see more of that Gordon than the one whinging in front of me today.'

Gordon was smiling.

'You liked that piano metaphor? Fooled you, didn't I?' he said.

'No. Now get back to that rhythm work.'

Gordon's faith in me that I knew him led us both back to ourselves.