Whole Self.
You should bring your whole, passionate, biased self to the table.
Then allow the time to separate yourself and your needs - from what you’ve agreed to do on behalf of the organisation
A Gift to Re-Define.
We stand at the threshold of each decision - large or small - presented with a gift to re-define ourselves.
In a single decision we can change from timid to courageous, follower to leader, broken to healed.
Instead our default is to repeat, continue, affirm, intensify our existing self.
Threat Avoidance.
You can never question or even not wholeheartedly applaud a bad boss’s single opinion or decision without being a threat to the entire foundation of the bad boss’s authority upon which she relies to feed her family.
To feed your family, you must wholeheartedly applaud and support every opinion uttered or decision made by a bad boss.
A Wise Friend’s Perspective.
Anger and frustration are a wise and patient friend’s perspective away from being reframed to resolution and learning.
Without Fear or Favour.
The problem with successfully giving advice without fear or favour, affection or ill will - is that each side assumes you’re an advocate for the other side and treats you with suspicion, often long after a dispute is resolved.
Terrifying.
Some of the most terrifying words a person can utter to you are:
‘I remember something you said once…’
Get What You Need.
We assume that we must give a person what they tell us they hope for, for them to get what they need.
When what they need from us is:
A process
Time
Wisdom
Permission to sacrifice self for community
Resolution
Healing
Learning that Life Goes On
A lead role in teaching onlookers how to work through conflict
The Problem with Excellence.
The problem with meeting and working with someone who is excellent at their profession -
Is you’re more likely to have contempt for the profession in general.
In Your Defence.
As you read this:
A soldier wearing your country’s name is uncomfortable, cold, wet, and sleep-deprived.
A sailor fights sea-sickness three months from her ill child beneath the waves that girt your home.
An aviator opens divorce papers along with his third posting in five years in your defence.
Their extraordinary serves our ordinary.
Superheroes.
There’s always that person.
They’re a bit needy, whiny, over-sharing, and generally higher maintenance than what I think is necessary.
I think: ‘Can’t you just …’ ‘If only you would …’ ‘Surely it’s not as bad as …’ ‘I wish you wouldn’t…’.
And if I’m a good person on a good day, I sometimes think: ‘Maybe if I knew what you were having to overcome to be this person who niggles me, I would be impressed and humbled.’
Childhood trauma. Personal tragedy. Hardship. Bad luck.
I think: ‘Maybe what you present to me is a far, far better person than the one I could excuse you for being if you allowed Life to overwhelm you.’
For some, I’m being generous.
For most, this is true.
Superheroes walk among us.
Energy, Intellect, and Courage.
We need to spend less energy, intellect, and courage trying to convince people to our point of view and more telling the truth.
