The Lives of Others.
Human life occurs only once, and the reason we cannot determine which of our decisions are good and which bad is that in a given situation we can make only one decision; we are not granted a second, third, or fourth life in which to compare various decisions.
- Milan Kundera 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being'
We are indeed granted a first, second, third, or fortieth life in which to compare various decisions.
The lives of others.
Read History.
You Break a Rule.
You break a rule.
You get an immediate payoff.
You’re discovered and dealt with.
Done. Move on.
You break a rule.
You get an immediate payoff.
Nobody discovers you.
The payoff fades.
The fear of discovery remains.
It’s Neptune.
In the early 19th century, astronomers observed irregularities in the orbit of Uranus.
These irregularities suggested that another, unseen planet’s gravity was influencing Uranus’s motion.
Neptune.
The enthusiastic response to your proposal isn’t followed up.
The promotion goes to someone else.
The job you were the top candidate for and in which you shone at the interview is offered to someone else.
The person at work you’ve got on well with suddenly goes cold on you.
That lazy fool keeps getting their contract renewed.
You walk in to your regular meeting with the boss to find the HR rep sitting beside her.
Neptune.
Watch the Whole Video.
Police investigating allegations of threats made on a video post have asked for a copy of the unedited video before deciding whether a crime was committed.
Imagine if we could do that with all our allegations of offence.
Watch the unedited video.
Hear the whole story.
Do Not Mistake.
The fact that there are only a few of us at a meeting.
The fact that 99% of people affected by our decisions are not at the meeting.
The fact that none of us will disclose what was said at the meeting.
The fact that 97% of people affected by our meeting aren’t interested in our meeting.
The fact that we spent our career being excluded from these meetings until we were promoted to a position requiring attendance.
Do not mean that we have the right to say and decide things in the meeting that we would not say publicly.
Do not mistake the efficiency and work-in-progress reasons for closed doors as permission to be duplicitous.
The Accumulation of the Choices.
Mikhail Baryshnikov has said that you can see in prima ballerinas 'the accumulation of the choices they have made in their muscles'.
If people could see the accumulation of your choices, what would it look like?
The Coastline Paradox.
Australia’s coastline is somewhere between 25,000 km in length and 60,000 km.
The distance depends on the method used to measure it.
The more precise the measuring device, the more accurately you can capture the bays and inlets and coastal indentations.
The degree of precision needed depends on whether you’re a mariner or a geography teacher.
There will always be one who has the motivation, patience, and time to make finer measurements than yours.
Remember that next time someone critiques your words or your work.
The Nerve.
The disproportionate power of a criticism or complaint to harm us compared to other forms of information is that they touch that raw nerve of self doubt that runs through every reasonable human being.
What if I’m wrong?
Tear Off the Label.
Don’t rely on someone else’s label to know what’s in the package.
What the label described as criticism - is often a gift.
Redundant.
A boss acts to reinforce their power.
A leader acts to make themselves redundant.
The Force of a Decision.
A leader is anyone who intentionally directs force towards another to propel them towards a goal.
Mostly that force is a decision.
