Resolved.
It's rare to hear someone reflect on a conflict in a former workplace and say:
'My life is worse because of it.'
Many people believe that the goal of conflict management is to make everybody happy.
Yet when you ask those people 'What are the chances of that happening?', they shake their heads and say 'It's almost impossible.'
We need to have some reference point as to when a conflict is resolved.
Universal happiness - complainant, respondent, boss, customer, widget - is not a realistic one.
Resolving conflict so that people can get back to the widget has benefits beyond the widget.
It lets them think 'Well, whether I like it or not, it has been resolved and I now need to make choices based upon that.'
It's rare in life to have an umpire who resolves something for us and says 'Here's what's going to happen.'
That's what a good boss does when she resolves a conflict.
We may not like it. We may not agree with it. It may not be what we wanted. Yet it provides a reference point for our decisions about our life and our happiness. We regain control in an environment where we may have felt as though we'd lost it.
What might seem like a loss in the world of my cubicle, can be a win for personal growth, creativity, and realisations about where I want to be in the world of my life.
Loud.
Following the Five Steps to a Good Decision is thinking out loud.
It's teaching.
Leaving a trail that others may choose to follow - or not.
Knowing.
Peggy: Did you park your white horse outside? Spare me the suspense and tell me what your Save the Day Plan is.
Don: I don't have anything yet. The idea I had wasn't great.
Peggy: It wasn't great. It was terrible. Now I want to hear the real one. Or are you just going to pull it out during the presentation?
Don: This idea is good. I think we can get the client to buy it.
Peggy: No you don't. Or you wouldn't have questioned it.
Don: I'm going to do whatever you say.
Peggy: So you're going to pitch the hell out of my shitty idea and I'm going to fail?
Don: Peggy, I'm here to help you do whatever you want to do.
Peggy: Well how am I supposed to know?
Don: That's a tough one.
Peggy: You love this.
Don: Not really. I want you to feel good about what you're doing but you'll never know. That's just the job.
Peggy: What's the job?
Don: Living in the "Not knowing".
Peggy: You know I wouldn't have argued if it was me. I would have just given you a hundred ideas and never questioned why. You really want to help me? Show me how you think. Do it out loud.
Don: You can't tell people what they want. It has to be what you want.
Peggy: Well I want to go to the movies.
Don: Whenever I'm really unsure of an idea, first I abuse the people whose help I need. And then I take a nap.
Peggy: Done.
Don: Then I start at the beginning again. And see if I end up in the same place.
- Mad Men - Series 7 'The Strategy'.
Tolerance.
'What we don't realise is how much of our feelings, our actions, our beliefs are coming from our unconscious mind and I think that when we raise our consciousness about our unconscious, you're knowing yourself better. And to know yourself better I think is a good thing. You understand how you're going to react and you understand why you did things and you just have more understanding for yourself. So it not only helps you make better decisions economically, but it helps you make better decisions spiritually because you have in a way more tolerance for yourself as well as more understanding.'
- Leonard Mlodinow, Physicist.
Good decision making is a deliberate process of inquiry that advances us towards where we want to be.
I pay attention to my thinking.
I see the world as it is and not as I presumed it to be.
I learn about you.
I learn about me.
Mess.
'[The BBC gave us] total freedom. They gave us the freedom to mess up which is the best freedom you can have.
For our first series we made our own mistakes. We made lots of mistakes and we realised the control you had to have to get better - the things we needed to change and appreciate...and we were allowed a second series.'
A good boss anchors the straining tension of paying her workers to build and break and build her Widget.
It takes intelligence, confidence, wisdom, patience, resilience, judgement, and humility to be that kind of boss.
Good bosses are rare.
Workers who are grown up enough to choose the anxiety that comes with the freedom of making their own mistakes - and to change and get better - and thus be worthy of such bosses - are also rare.
Most settle into the comfort and security of the tepid disgruntlement of being told what to do in return for the salary that funds their refuge in their Weekend Widget.
The emphasis on leadership and management in workplaces reinforces a message that Someone Else is responsible.
Someone Else is controlling us and therefore our mistakes.
The They will tell us when and how to get better.
The They will Manage and even Drive Change.
We are free to choose the boss that we deserve.
![[Inspired by Hugh McCleod's 'Value Curve'.]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/501409fee4b00a22f5c6f17b/1398091255969-JSVXG701FCJL0M8YJAZC/Good+Decision+Making.jpg)
Three.
'Intelligence is the ability to recognise a better argument than your own.'
- Anonymous
The third of the Five Steps to a Good Decision is to Assess the information.
‘Investigation’ has sinister, negative overtones.
‘We’re carrying out an investigation.’
‘We’re being investigated.’
These all imply that someone has done something wrong.
Yet no decision should be made without gathering as much information as we can – ie investigating.
An investigation can be as simple as a telephone call, a conversation, reading a policy, an email asking questions, seeking expert advice – or as detailed as a royal commission.
What information do you need to decide what to do?
What information do you need to make your Widget?
What is important is the attitude that you take to the gathering of information.
Be curious.
Take the position of the ‘naïve inquirer’.
Seek the advice of experts, more experienced people, policies and procedures.
Be inquisitorial not adversarial.
Aim to learn rather than blame.
Confidence.
'Once you surrender the idea of intrinsic, objective value, you start asking the question “if the value isn’t in there, where does it come from?” It’s obviously from the transaction: it’s the product of the quality of a relationship between me, the observer, and something else. So how is that relationship stimulated, enriched, given value? By creating an atmosphere of confidence where I am ready to engage with and perhaps surrender to the world it suggests.'
- Brian Eno
The information thuds onto our desk.
It lies there. Inanimate. Markings on paper. Pixels on glass.
We breathe in - and exhale our spirit into it.
We give it life.
We name it:
Complaint. Criticism. Appeal. Escalation. Grievance. Demand.
Or we name it:
Feedback. Evaluation. Comment. Test. Observation. Assessment. Question. Gift.
The actions that we take in response to the information and its relationship to our Widget are what gives it value. We need to engage with it with the eagerness and curiosity that serve our Widget - not our ego.
We need to be brave enough to surrender our understanding of the world for a new one.
If we are all these things - then we invite more thuds upon our desks.
Competing.
'In review tribunal proceedings there is no necessary conflict between the interests of the applicant and of the government agency. Tribunals and other administrative decision making processes are not intended to identify the winner from two competing parties. The public interest `wins' just as much as the successful applicant because correct or preferable decision making contributes, through its normative effect, to correct and fair administration and to the jurisprudence and policy in the particular area.'
- Managing Justice: A Review of the Federal Civil Justice System.
The complaint arrives.
Step 1: Step Back and feel the offence, indignation, anger, fear, fatigue or betrayal well up inside you - then allow seconds, minutes, hours, days for it to ebb away. [I'm human.]
Step 2:What's my Widget and what does this complaint teach me about it? ['The first job of a leader is to define reality.']
Step 3: Do I seek other information to help me to learn about this complaint and my Widget?
Step 4: Is there anything clouding my vision about how this complaint serves my Widget? ['A leader serves.']
Step 5: Is there anyone who might be affected by a decision I may make?
Thank you complainant for testing my Widget. ['The last job of a leader is to say 'Thank you.'']
It's rare to find anyone with this wisdom.
Because Leaders are rare.
Our Justice System is precious.
Kanye.
Musician Kanye West explained how Good Decision Making and Widget Thinking help him to become who he is.
His life and creative process and therefore his mistakes are before the world. They are the product of Good Decision Making and therefore teach others so he can never be wrong:
'I'm opening up my notebook and I'm saying everything in there out loud. A lot of people are very sacred with their ideas, and there is something to protecting yourself in that way, but there's also something to idea sharing, or being the person who makes the mistake in public so people can study that.'
Kanye also understands that it's all about the Widget. And it's never about the Widget:
'It's more about the art of conversation, the companionship, the friendships, and the quality of life that you get out of working—it's about the creative process even more than the final product. I think there's something kind of depressing about a product being final, because the only time a product is really final is when you're in a casket.
My mission is about what I want to create.'
Answers.
'You only have the answers for things that don't matter.'
- Peter Block
You don't say 'I don't know' too often and keep your job.
We're paid to Know.
People rely on us to Know.
There is little patience even for I'm Not Sure.
Which means our Widget doesn't matter.
Could this be why only 13% of the world's workers are engaged in their work?
Or why only 7.5% of workers consider themselves productive?
I'm not sure.
Switch.
‘When did the flame ignite for you?’ the interviewer asked champion runner Robert de Castella. ‘Most people think that the idea of running for 42 kilometres without stopping over and over again is self-mutilation or insanity. When does it become something you think you want to do for a career?
‘I know exactly when it was and Pat [coach Pat Clohesy was there. I’d been a really good junior until the age of 17 or 18 and set national records and things. Then I went to Europe where I had a bit of a period where I went backwards and it was partly because I was training hard with the older guys and probably socialising a fair bit. But I still managed to get selected into an Australian team to compete in the World Cross Country and went to Limerick and Pat [Clohessy - his coach] was the manager of that team.
‘In the World Championships I had one of the worst runs that I’d ever had. I finished 62nd or something. It was a shocker. And the next week we had another race in Italy – a race called the Cinque Mulini – the Five Mills. I had an awesome race. I just came into the last few hundred metres with a couple of the heroes that I’d looked up to, shoulder to shoulder. They kicked away but I was up there racing them and it was something that I never thought I would.
‘That night after we had dinner we were walking back to the hotel and everyone else had walked off and Pat and I were at the back and I said to Pat ‘After this run today, I ran so badly last week and I’ve run so well this week, maybe I can really be a good runner. Maybe if I dedicate myself.’
‘Pat stopped and looked at me and he said ‘I’ve been waiting two years for you to say that.’
'That was a switch for me and my whole approach to training and my commitment changed from being a runner to being an athlete and I was serious.’
In December 1988 while eating lunch on a park bench in Supreme Court Gardens, Shaun and I discovered Objectives.
We realised that the content of what was taught to students should be determined by what they needed to do at the end of the training. The trainer needed to be able to justify how everything that was taught in the classroom helped to achieve the objective. The objectives needed to be written in terms of what the student needed to be able to do – not what the teacher did.
As we walked back to our respective offices in the city, we felt a new command over our role as instructors and clarity about how we could apply our craft.
Years later Shaun told me that Benjamin Bloom had discovered Objectives in 1956.
When we make a decision we switch from runner to athlete.
From consumer to creator.
From child to adult.
From another to ourselves.
When we create the space for another to decide, we switch from parent to leader.
From master to servant.
From fear to love.
Arrows.
'You could always tell the scout on a wagon train because he was the one with all the arrows in him. Any time that you try to go to new ground. Any time that you try to go to territory that you've not been in before, you're going to have resistance.
But there's a whole line of people behind you that are kind of hoping that you make it. There are people who are waiting to get permission to think that way. To get permission to love that way.'
- Dr Joel Hunter
Seeing.
'You must love those you lead before you can be an effective leader, You can certainly command without that sense of commitment, but you cannot lead without it. And without leadership, command is a hollow experience, a vacuum often filled with mistrust and arrogance.'
General Eric Shinseki - Ex-US Army Chief of Staff
The Air Commodore saw the Flight Lieutenant waiting at the Orderly Room counter.
'How are you finding the job so far, Bernard?' He remembered my name. He was the Air Officer Commanding Training Command with hundreds on his immediate staff and thousands more at the units under his Command scattered around Australia and overseas. He remembered me after being introduced a month earlier when I began my first real Air Force posting.
'Busy?' he asked. I gave the only answer that I could to my boss's, boss's boss. 'Well, you need to find a couple of days to spare,' he said. 'How would you like to come with me on a Staff Visit to RAAF Base Wagga?'
The next day I accompanied the Air Commodore and his senior staff to all his meetings with the various commanding officers of units at RAAF Wagga. 'I think it's important that all junior officers get to see what we do first hand,' he told me in his car on the way there. 'You need to get out of Headquarters as much as you can to see what our people do.'
I watched how a One Star commander listened, spoke, deliberated, questioned, joked, sat, responded, decided, commanded. No other boss ever gave me an opportunity like that, let alone a boss's, boss's boss. The second most senior commander in the Air Force.
No other boss saw me.
On the drive back to Melbourne he asked me 'What did you think?'
A good boss sees.
She sees you and stops to help you [to become who you are].
She sees because she is looking.
She is looking because she is confident that she doesn't know and that you may.
She hands you her map and says 'Take us there'.
Underpins.
The Report into the Inquiry into the 2013 WA Senate Election provides further rich examples of Good Decision Making - particularly Widget Thinking.
The Executive Summary details the many complex challenges confronting the Australian Electoral Commission in conducting an election. It concludes with this statement (italics added):
[T]his Inquiry noted a range of issues involving culture, planning, systems and practices that contributed to the loss of the ballots. The implementation of the various recommendations, findings and observations throughout this Report could assist the AEC in its future operations. The Inquiry believes that these could be achieved by pursuing a future state where the sanctity of ballots underpins all aspects of the AEC’s operations, from planning to training, to materials management and all other aspects covered in this Report.
How does the AEC/Organisation X resolve the competing demands on it leading up to and during an election/doing business? How does it ensure that there is clarity amidst the chaos/organisational life?
It asks itself: 'What decision will ensure the sanctity of ballots/our Widget?'
It resolves all issues according to this outcome.
Productivity.
Whenever you talk in the abstract or the generic to a large group of people, every single person thinks that you're talking to them. Except for you, because you're special and smart.
- Merlin Mann
I designed, organised, advertised and prepared for five presentations on Good Decision Making open to the public.
An hour. Free.
No one registered for the first one.
Two people registered for the second. Neither turned up.
We cancelled the rest.
Lots of possible reasons why. All my fault.
Meanwhile...
A study has found that bosses are losing an average of three months per year of productivity from each worker.
Those with the most unused 'discretionary effort' were knowledge workers.
One of the conclusions was lack of clarity about outcomes. Widgets.
Australians spend more hours at work than those in most other countries and yet according to another study, we rank second last on productivity growth, just ahead of Botswana.
Perhaps everyone who read about my Workshop was part of the 7.5% who considered themselves productive.
None of this applies to you and me though.
Evidence.
The CO of the Squadron was waiting for his two F111s when they taxied in to their hangar bays. Two days later he was waiting for me.
'The future of military aviation - indeed aviation in general in Australia is at a crossroads,' he began. 'The Minister wants us to deal with this incident in a way that ensures continuing confidence in our responsible use of airspace to conduct our training.'
My legal boss had put it more bluntly when he'd tasked me as the Prosecuting Officer. 'If you don't get convictions, don't bother coming back.'
The two pilots had each flown a low level 'spacer pass' by the control tower at the bombing range 30 seconds apart. Their speed was just below the sound barrier, causing a sonic 'disturbance' that blasted the tower into $100,000 worth of damage. The range controller was showered in glass but otherwise unhurt and with a great story to tell.
I arrived at the Base on the Friday. The trial was to begin on Monday. Everyone at the Squadron was as respectful as my rank required in assisting me to gather evidence. But no-one wanted to help me to convict two of their own pilots.
'There was an airman who filmed it,' the CO had told me. I found him and asked if I could have a copy of the video. 'I gave it to the Squadron Safety Officer,' he told me. The Squadron Safety Officer shrugged. 'I deleted it,' he said. It wasn't the smoking gun, but it would have helped.
Three years later and I'm visiting the Directorate of Flying Safety in Canberra to give some legal advice. I'm chatting with the two Squadron Leaders about the F111 trial and ask their opinion about some of the questionable technical evidence given by the pilots.
'Would you like to see the video?' one of them asks. My jaw falls open.
My role as Prosecuting Officer in a Defence Force Disciplinary Act trial was to use an adversarial process to present admissible evidence that proved beyond reasonable doubt that two pilots had broken the law and should be punished to deter both them and others from doing the same. In SPEAR terms I was helping to Patrol the Space.
The role of the Directorate of Flying Safety is to use an inquisitorial approach to gather information about aircraft incidents to learn from them and pass on those lessons to all pilots to keep them safe. It was helping to Create the Space.
Same information - different Widgets.
Foot.
'Tis all one as if they should make the standard for the measure we call a foot, a Chancellor’s foot; what an uncertain measure would this be? One Chancellor has a long foot, another a short foot, a third an indifferent foot: ‘tis the same thing in a Chancellor’s conscience.’
Many knowledge workers' decisions are adrift from their boss's widget.
It may have happened when their bosses changed. Or when there was a restructure. Or there may have never been a connection in the first place. They are products of poor management. Which - ironically - encourages their sense of expertise because they are usually an island of decisiveness amidst timidity.
They are almost always good people who are dedicated and work hard and long hours. They are often called 'indispensable'.
They make decisions that they feel are morally right. This adds to their defensiveness and disproportionate reaction if challenged. Much like Selden's Chancellor's foot, their decisions are an extension of them, not transferrable and attached with an equal degree of organic stubbornness.
They are 'experts' whose advice is sought by others, thus further affirming their sense of expertise. They have become so simply by having exclusive access to information and authority and not because of any objective qualification or because the pillars of their decisions have held up a bridge. They're knowledge workers after all.
They spend much time at meetings, conferences and other forums where experts gather and talk.
At staff gatherings, they're nursing the cupcake in the corner surveying the room with the weary look of the veteran, regularly glancing at their watch to ensure that they are back at their desk to answer the important phone calls and emails and not let anyone down.
They mark their own homework. Their decisions are rarely tested.
They design, manufacture and quality control their own widget.
Their only accountability?
Complaints.
Scared.
'Make the time to be scared of more interesting things.'
- Merlin Mann
Watching TV at 8.37pm on a Wednesday when my phone announced an email and I nearly vomited.
At my desk at 2.50pm when I'm summonsed by the boss and I pocket my shaking hands.
Exiting the ceiling loft at 11.15 on a Saturday morning watching work scenes in my head instead of the ladder and stepping into space and falling five metres onto a plastic bin and then concrete.
I lay on my side for ten minutes wiggling my toes and visualising my spine and ribs and pulling plastic shards from my clothes and feeling reincarnated.
Work had nearly killed me.
I thought of the Merlin Mann quote.
The earth had slammed me into its bosom demanding I make time to think about my fear dividend.
Slumped in a car outside a chemist with a searing headache after a second day of prosecuting two military pilots. Stressed. Out of my depth. Thriving.
Sitting at a boardroom table next to the Chief Operating Officer facing off ten government and commercial lawyers opposite and the contract that would make or break our start-up company in stalemate. Stomach churning. Overwhelmed. Thrilling.
Emails about inaccurate staff leave accounting making me nauseous? Ridiculous.
Calls about not filling out an HR form correctly constricting my breathing? Embarrassing.
Peter Block says 'The price of freedom is anxiety.' Any decision worthwhile will make us scared. The key is to Step Back and confirm that our Widget is worth it.