Don't Fall For It.

In the movie John Wick 4, Mr Wick is fighting his way up the 222 steps to Sacré Cœur Basilica in Paris, struggling to meet a dawn deadline.

Assailants come at him from all directions, and at one point he tumbles back down several flights to the bottom. He gets to his feet and resumes his journey, dodging a hail of bullets, swords, and lethal projectiles directed at him by dozens of assassins, in a ten minute suspension of disbelief fight scene as only Hollywood can get away with.

The army of shooters sent to impede Mr Wick from reaching his destination has been sent by the person who summoned him to the dawn meeting.

Just your average workplace.

Organisations and your bosses have a number of ways of treating you as if you are a five year old. That inhibits you. It triggers dormant five year old responses.

If you don’t believe me, think of how you unconsciously behave in your workplace. At meetings or presentations in particular. Passive. Submissive. Obedient. Often secretly defiant. Day-dreaming. Texting. Emailing. Switching off. Disengaged.

Don’t fall for it.

Don’t allow the boss or HR or whoever it is that assumes they dominate you to get the jump on you in the arm wrestle. Don’t let them get the upper hand.

Exude confidence. Courteous, respectful, civil, Confidence.

Expect a counter-attack as the superior attempts to assert their positional power.

How do you respond to stay on top?

Make decisions.

Make as many decisions as you can that can then be executed either by you or those who you work with, independently of the superior.

The more decisions you make, the more feedback you gain, the more you learn. The more connections and relationships you form. The more you gain control over your circumstances independently of the power figure.

Sure, the power figure will seek opportunities to put you in your place. Respond respectfully. Nibble on some humble pie from time to time. Give them small wins.

Then get back to making decisions. Small decisions. Big decisions. Make lots.

And remember this:

The person with positional power ALWAYS wins. They will ALWAYS pin you in the arm wrestle.

‘What?!!’ I hear you say. ‘Then - what’s the point? Why bother with all that decision making stuff?’

Because with every decision you make, you learn, grow, build your Widget, build another Widget. Learn about yourself. Your capacity. Other people. Life.

You may choose to leave that boss or organisation.

There will always be another boss or power figure wanting to arm wrestle you.

Your wrestle may (almost inevitably) end up being with fate, or tragedy, or illness or heartache or loss or death.

What your bad bosses and organisations teach you - more than the good ones - is how to wrestle with Life. And that Life is bigger than the boss. And Life goes on.

Bad bosses are exceptionally good teachers of Life.

The submissive five year old never has the thrill and benefit of those lessons.

That’s why they’re stuck as a submissive five year old.