One Question.
One of the best questions a boss or mentor can ask is:
Are you sure?
It promotes:
Reflection
Open Explanation
An opportunity for change of plan before execution
Accountability
Humility
Acceptance of Responsiblity
Ownership
The first job of a leader is to Create the Space.
Asking: ‘Are you sure?’ does this.
Be grateful if anyone in your life takes the time to ask:
Are you sure?
Trial and Error.
With Trial and Error -
Be sure to focus as much on the Trial - as on the Error.
The Biggest Threat.
The biggest threat - is being seen.
When someone looks through the tinsel and streamers and balloons and smiles and babies being kissed and hands being shaken and the speeches and back-slapping and position titles and cliches and value statements and rituals and theatre and award certificates and social media posts and investitures and post nominals and says:
I see you.
The Job of the Worker.
The job of the worker is to give the boss the benefit of their labour, decision making, knowledge, information, and opinion.
The job of the boss is to hire, support, and nurture workers who willingly give the boss the benefit of their labour, decision making, knowledge, information and opinion.
Simple.
When We Becomes They.
‘We are acting in the best interests of…’
‘We believe in transparency…’
‘We are totally committed to…’
‘We …’
‘We’ can quickly become ‘They’.
‘They did not act in the best interests of…’
‘They are not being transparent…’
‘They abandoned me.’
‘They…’.
Your Only Companion.
Most of the work of ‘leading’ is accomplished in the quiet hours.
With self-doubt as your only companion.
Whole Self.
You should bring your whole, passionate, biased self to the table.
Then allow the time to separate yourself and your needs - from what you’ve agreed to do on behalf of the organisation
A Gift to Re-Define.
We stand at the threshold of each decision - large or small - presented with a gift to re-define ourselves.
In a single decision we can change from timid to courageous, follower to leader, broken to healed.
Instead our default is to repeat, continue, affirm, intensify our existing self.
Threat Avoidance.
You can never question or even not wholeheartedly applaud a bad boss’s single opinion or decision without being a threat to the entire foundation of the bad boss’s authority upon which she relies to feed her family.
To feed your family, you must wholeheartedly applaud and support every opinion uttered or decision made by a bad boss.
A Wise Friend’s Perspective.
Anger and frustration are a wise and patient friend’s perspective away from being reframed to resolution and learning.
Without Fear or Favour.
The problem with successfully giving advice without fear or favour, affection or ill will - is that each side assumes you’re an advocate for the other side and treats you with suspicion, often long after a dispute is resolved.
Terrifying.
Some of the most terrifying words a person can utter to you are:
‘I remember something you said once…’
Get What You Need.
We assume that we must give a person what they tell us they hope for, for them to get what they need.
When what they need from us is:
A process
Time
Wisdom
Permission to sacrifice self for community
Resolution
Healing
Learning that Life Goes On
A lead role in teaching onlookers how to work through conflict