When We Becomes They.
‘We are acting in the best interests of…’
‘We believe in transparency…’
‘We are totally committed to…’
‘We …’
‘We’ can quickly become ‘They’.
‘They did not act in the best interests of…’
‘They are not being transparent…’
‘They abandoned me.’
‘They…’.
Your Only Companion.
Most of the work of ‘leading’ is accomplished in the quiet hours.
With self-doubt as your only companion.
Whole Self.
You should bring your whole, passionate, biased self to the table.
Then allow the time to separate yourself and your needs - from what you’ve agreed to do on behalf of the organisation
A Gift to Re-Define.
We stand at the threshold of each decision - large or small - presented with a gift to re-define ourselves.
In a single decision we can change from timid to courageous, follower to leader, broken to healed.
Instead our default is to repeat, continue, affirm, intensify our existing self.
Threat Avoidance.
You can never question or even not wholeheartedly applaud a bad boss’s single opinion or decision without being a threat to the entire foundation of the bad boss’s authority upon which she relies to feed her family.
To feed your family, you must wholeheartedly applaud and support every opinion uttered or decision made by a bad boss.
A Wise Friend’s Perspective.
Anger and frustration are a wise and patient friend’s perspective away from being reframed to resolution and learning.
Without Fear or Favour.
The problem with successfully giving advice without fear or favour, affection or ill will - is that each side assumes you’re an advocate for the other side and treats you with suspicion, often long after a dispute is resolved.
Terrifying.
Some of the most terrifying words a person can utter to you are:
‘I remember something you said once…’
Get What You Need.
We assume that we must give a person what they tell us they hope for, for them to get what they need.
When what they need from us is:
A process
Time
Wisdom
Permission to sacrifice self for community
Resolution
Healing
Learning that Life Goes On
A lead role in teaching onlookers how to work through conflict
The Problem with Excellence.
The problem with meeting and working with someone who is excellent at their profession -
Is you’re more likely to have contempt for the profession in general.
In Your Defence.
As you read this:
A soldier wearing your country’s name is uncomfortable, cold, wet, and sleep-deprived.
A sailor fights sea-sickness three months from her ill child beneath the waves that girt your home.
An aviator opens divorce papers along with his third posting in five years in your defence.
Their extraordinary serves our ordinary.