Validation.
Here is the priority order in which a healthy person seeks validation for their actions.
Internal. (We do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.)
Nocturnal. (We do the right thing to sleep soundly at night.)
Eternal. (We do the right thing because we serve something greater than ourselves.)
External. (It’s a bonus to be praised.)
We Choose to Stay.
Often when confronted by an employer’s stupidity or unfairness, we choose to stay.
It’s not that we’re afraid of taking our labour elsewhere.
We fear that by leaving we will discover that their assessment of us - was correct.
Better to stay and not confirm our self-doubt - and have someone to blame for our lack of progression and success -
Than to leave and swallow the bitter truth alone.
The Default Should Be.
The default is for organisations to express their values in writing
Codes and policies.
Whereas the default should be to express them in behaviour.
Routinely.
People shouldn’t think: ‘Oh I read somewhere that I’m supposed to …’
It should be ‘Nobody/Everybody here says/does…so I should too…’
Indignation.
Could it be that the indignation we express when the boss catches us out, is less about a true injustice, and more annoyance that the boss saw through our ruse?
The Salute.
Once appointed as an officer in the armed forces, every rank junior salutes and calls you ‘Sir’.
For most officers that is humbling and slightly awkward. You know you’ve done nothing to earn that respect and you know that they know you know. It’s almost as if each salute is accompanied by a knowing wink.
For some officers, that is the natural state of affairs and they never grow in response. Those officers give commissioned ranks a bad name.
For the rest of us, the first salute began us on our path to earn and be worthy of the institutional respect.
Each crisp salute and curt ‘Sir!’ a reminder of our unearned status and our need to keep trying to earn it.
To get better.
To serve.
Returning salutes never made me feel superior. Decades since my first, it remains humbling.
Then you get promoted and there’s another layer of saluters below you.
Then another.
One day we leave full time Defence and go out into the rank-less, salute-less, Sir-less, corporate world.
No more knowing what courses the person above and below us has passed to reach their place in the outfit, nor the pay they receive.
No days punctuated by salutes given and returned.
Nudging us to remember we serve something higher than ourselves.
Imagine a Workplace.
Imagine a workplace where an employee could say this to their boss:
‘I don’t have the self-confidence to apply myself fully to the work you expect me to do. So instead I spend a lot of energy thinking of ways to appear to be as competent and diligent as I think you require me to be to keep my job. I’ve worked out the minimum I need to do to keep up appearances, including a menu of excuses I have for both myself and you if I fall short. I know that you don’t have the time or will it would require to monitor me enough to gather the evidence you need to prove what I know about my mediocre performance. So I rely on this to get away with my mediocrity. So, in a way, I blame you for me not pulling my weight.’
And the boss could say this back:
‘I just want the work done so I can do mine and we can be successful. I haven’t go the time or desire to supervise you enough to either lift your performance or have enough evidence to ask you to leave and not get sued.’
What Will This Mean?
A bad boss asks themselves before a decision:
‘What will this mean for me?’
A good boss asks themselves:
‘What will this mean for others?’
An Audience of One.
Then there’s the sycophant who organises a meeting or presentation that includes the boss - and no matter how large the audience, we soon can tell it may as well only be one person.
Asked and Answered.
I’m always amused when the person who organised the presentation and introduced a speaker and encouraged us all to pay attention and learn from them - proceeds to answer most of the speakers questions of the audience.
The Foolish and the Wise.
The foolish need only be right once to remain fools.
The wise need only be wrong once to remain wise.
The Naked Truth.
Being confronted by the truth is like reclining in a European spa and looking up just as an old man emerges naked from the thermal bath.