Superheroes.

There’s always that person.

They’re a bit needy, whiny, over-sharing, and generally higher maintenance than what I think is necessary.

I think: ‘Can’t you just …’ ‘If only you would …’ ‘Surely it’s not as bad as …’ ‘I wish you wouldn’t…’.

And if I’m a good person on a good day, I sometimes think: ‘Maybe if I knew what you were having to overcome to be this person who niggles me, I would be impressed and humbled.’

Childhood trauma. Personal tragedy. Hardship. Bad luck.

I think: ‘Maybe what you present to me is a far, far better person than the one I could excuse you for being if you allowed Life to overwhelm you.’

For some, I’m being generous.

For most, this is true.

Superheroes walk among us.

Energy, Intellect, and Courage.

We need to spend less energy, intellect, and courage trying to convince people to our point of view and more telling the truth.

Clamour.

What many people think is ‘leadership’ is stubbornly resisting those clamouring for change.

Hard and Harder.

It’s very hard to change, improve, or innovate when defending yourself from attack.

But that’s when most people and organisations are forced to change.

It’s much easier to change when peace reigns.

But that’s when most people and organisations don’t.

The Middle of the Forest.

An idea is like a vehicle appearing in the middle of the forest.

There are no roads to take it anywhere.

The idea is the easy part.

It’s building the roads that’s hard.

Give Up to Get.

Whenever I want something, I should also know what I’m prepared to give up to get it.

Convenience for security and privacy.

Autonomy for income.

Another Reason Why.

Four out of five children are abused within their extended family.

In families - healthy and otherwise - interactions between members have the characteristics of ‘grooming’ behaviour.

Thus, when we frame our vigilance towards and responses to risks to children around ‘grooming’, we’re describing families.

How does a child - or the adult observer - distinguish between healthy and harmful in a family?

Another reason why codes of conduct in schools are so important.

They create and reinforce healthy behaviours between adults and children.

Uh-oh.

I didn’t realise that I was criticising behaviours I didn’t realise the boss thought were virtues.

And a type of person who the boss thought was him.

Sinister.

The most sinister illness is one without symptoms.

The Last Emotion.

For parents, it’s unsettling to know that, if you do a good job with your children, the last emotion you will cause them to feel will be sadness.

The Linchpins.

Points scored - and even assists - (in sport and in life) are all measured and can be acknowledged and rewarded.

But what about the passes that lead to the dribbles that lead to the assists that lead to the score?

Only an astute coach or observer notices, let alone keeps count.

Otherwise those ‘link’ players’ efforts and skills go unnoticed, unacknowledged, and therefore uncultivated.

Until the game (or project) where the points aren’t there, the turnovers and errors are ‘unexplainably’ higher.

Coaches and supporters (and managers) scratch their heads.

What went wrong?

Look for the player who was injured or wasn’t in that game (or meeting, or project, or service delivery).

That’s how you discover -

The linchpins.

A Force That Won’t Bow.

A bad boss who has always relied on positional power, feels utterly impotent and frustrated when confronted with a force that won’t bow to them.

They have no experience and therefore skill to navigate their way beyond it.

Validation.

Here is the priority order in which a healthy person seeks validation for their actions.

Internal. (We do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.)

Nocturnal. (We do the right thing to sleep soundly at night.)

Eternal. (We do the right thing because we serve something greater than ourselves.)

External. (It’s a bonus to be praised.)

Scripted.

The Universe patiently waits for us to pick up the script and read our lines.

Insecurity.

The boss who sits in on every meeting you have with their boss.

We Choose to Stay.

Often when confronted by an employer’s stupidity or unfairness, we choose to stay.

It’s not that we’re afraid of taking our labour elsewhere.

We fear that by leaving we will discover that their assessment of us - was correct.

Better to stay and not confirm our self-doubt - and have someone to blame for our lack of progression and success -

Than to leave and swallow the bitter truth alone.

Blame.

Don’t blame the band aid for the wound.

Stealth.

I once interviewed an applicant for a support role.

When I asked him where he saw himself in the organisation in three years, he answered:

‘Doing your job.’

I assumed he was aspirational and thought he’d get there on merit.

Instead he got there by stealth.

The Default Should Be.

The default is for organisations to express their values in writing

Codes and policies.

Whereas the default should be to express them in behaviour.

Routinely.

People shouldn’t think: ‘Oh I read somewhere that I’m supposed to …’

It should be ‘Nobody/Everybody here says/does…so I should too…’

Pedantic.

Knowing a pendant will check your work makes you less careful.

Knowing someone less careful will check your work makes you a pedant.